London Fashion Week: The Stereotypes

With London FashionWeek commencing in just a couple of days time, I will once again be part of the Who’s Jack fashion team down at the front line. However, we will not be alone. From the high-end editors to the fashion victims,  here is a rundown of the LFW stereotypes most likely to be encountered. As a disclaimer, I will add that this is just a bit of fun and is parodied on amusing people and events I, or team members, have encounted.

#1: The Big Wig

Characteristically clad in a pencil skirt and leaving the faintest whiff of Chanel No.5 and fear in their wake , behold and beware: The Big Wigs. Ever wondered who those stern and visibly unimpressed faces in the front row belong to? Wonder no longer for these are the media sovereigns that could make or break your entire journalistic career in the time it takes them to tweet “Fabulously chic bow detailing @ThakoonNY”. N.B.  Avoid all eye contact.

#2: The Off-Duty Model

Whilst you’re still wiping the sleep from your eyes outside the entrance to the 9am show,  take a moment to acknowledge the small crowd of over eager photographers forming on the otherside. Once acknowledged, then proceed to weep at the sight of the Off Duty Model. Sporting a casual ensemble of leather leggings and slouchy knitwear, it can often be a distressing spot at such an early hours. Though these people may be unnervingly effortless in appearance, try  to resist the urge to run home and claw at your face. Instead, revel in the knowledge that their lovely beachy blonde hair may be cut off and dyed orange tomorrow for the sake of their art. Small comforts.

#3: The Blogger

 

Sometimes immediately distinguishable by the business cards falling from their back pockets, if you don’t always recognise a blogger they’ll make damn sure that you know their Google Analytics figures within 13 seconds. These days, some bloggers are (deservedly) as known as the brands and figures they report back on. However, at Fashion Week, merely stepping foot in Somerset House gives other bloggers the idea that they are the queens of all media and that being made to stand at the rookies entrance in the rain is, quite frankly, an outrage. Don’t feel too bad for the poor dears though. Later on, as if by magic, you will also discover they somehow managed to smuggle a business card about your person without you even noticing. Sneaky, sneaky blogger.

#4: The Newbie

Bottom of the fashion food chain and the heaviest of fashion week drinkers, I hold a fond place for the newbie. Speaking from experience, the newbie is the individual that smiles in photographs and actually accepts the free absinthe shots at 11am in the Esthetica Exhibition.  Undeniably the most friendly and grateful for an actual seat, the Newbies are also the magpies of Fashion Week. First in line for the cheese and crackers, you can trust the Newbie to be the first to spot a free computer or piece of sushi. Whether they be the budding photographer lugging their equipment with them every step of the way or the just-starting-out journo, don’t, under any condition, underestimate the newbie. After all, you never know who they’re going to turn into in a couple of years time.

#5: The Gemini Twins

Pale, blonde and dressed entirely in black, they are the enigma of the week. Despite being London’s answer to the Fanning sisters, nobody knows who they are or where they came from. Are they twins? Are they related at all? Are they even...real?

#6: The Photographer's Wet Dream

 

 

The easiest of the stereotypes by far: the street style photo seekers. Whether it’s the stuffed black birds on their head that grabs your attention or the fact that they’re strutting around in a ball gown and walking 6 small Pomeranians, there is little you can do to avoid them. Whilst it can be said that men dressed as African Queens make the photographer’s job that little bit easier, other than that they usually serve no real purpose. Never spotted in the press area, it tends to suggest their day is dedicated to parading the square in bin bag hot pants and Lucite platforms as opposed to doing any real work.  Every day is a photo opportunity for these people and after a few hours, it really does get very tiring attempting to find actual style amongst the throngs of weknowwhatyoudidlastnight.com outtakes.

#7: Alexa Chung/ Olivia Palermo/ Kanye West

Apparently in possession of Bernard’s watch, this formidable FROW trio are somehow at every show on and off schedule.  Whilst people obsess over the maxi skirt Olivia is wearing and the width of Alexa’s arms, watch out for Kanye in particular.  He has been known to stare whilst you eat fererro rochers and, as a result, make you feel very uncomfortable...

I'll be posting every day from Friday to Thursday as well as on the Who's Jack website.  Fingers crossed for no twisted ankles on the cobbles.

Until Then..

C. x

Spaceships and Champagne: An Interview with Andrew Majtenyi

It’s hard to believe that London Fashion Week was almost a month ago. It seems just a few days ago that I was hot footing it down Oxford Street for a private reception for Andrew Majtenyi’s SS12 collection and now, with Paris soon to be finding its place in our memory banks, it seemed like a fitting time to keep the dream and week alive and recall a conversation I had with Andrew himself on the 20th September.

Unlike most fashion designers who start with a simple hand drawn sketch, Andrew Majtenyi launches the design process with bolts of fabric and a myriad of unique inspirations surfacing from personal experience to historical events. Not exactly convential, there is definitely a strong element  of original artistic flare that undoubtedly ensures that his designs are anything but ordinary. Having based his AW11 collection, “By The Book” on a trip to the British Library, it’s clear to see that a lot of research and love goes into his collections and that this designer, in a brilliant way, can be inspired by anything and everything. 

As we joined the event upstairs in Orwell House, a glass of champagne upon arrival puts us in the mood to enjoy the ensembles that his three models are stylishly exhibiting. Inspired by the Medieval trial of Katherina  Hetzeldorfer in 1477, especially in images of the jurors and art of the period, his influence is unusual to say the least. From the richness of the colours and textures and the sombre moods on the faces of the subjects that Andrew came across have inspired a rather grown up collection of classically elegant dresses in white silk and crimson  juxtaposed with structured zip front jackets in silver.
With his suitcase packed and waiting round the back,  Andrew was heading off to Paris in less than an hour yet this didn’t stop him having time for a little chat with me. And blimey, what a chat it was!

Growing up in the middle east (“It’s a long story”) , Majtenyi has also designed for film and television working on numerous productions including The Sentinel starring Michael Douglas and Eva Longoria, and Cheaper by the Dozen starring Steve Martin. Over the years, Majtenyi learned about filmmaking, a skill he now uses to write and direct the film shorts that open his catwalk shows, stills of which were on rotate around the room.  Astounding friendly and energetic, Andrew tells us about his recent recovery from a 3 month bout of food poisoning following some dodgy mayonnaise on a street- vendor hot dog  and provides a zealous interpretation of that fateful event:

“Bah! Have some of that you stoopid forreeeiggnnerrr!”, he exclaims, imitating the dreaded vendor, before blowing a raspberry to really bring the ridiculous scene to life. This man is clearly imaginative in both the design process and everyday life. With his garments possessing prints specifically designed for the collection, with references to art and architecture including castle towers and gothic spires, one has to wonder if he will be drawing on this particular experience and be creating a series of two pieces and miniskirts covered in images of hotdogs and condiments.

 Image courtesy of Vogue

“I’m currently building a spaceship”, he continues.

A zany character he may be, but this spaceship has its purpose. “It’s for a show” he explains. His creativity knows no bounds! How exactly a spaceship fits in with the trial of Hetzeldorfer I’m not sure so perhaps he disclosed a little taster for next season.

As he leaves us to mingle, the models switch outfits revealing some more youthful attire including 60s style shift dresses (the orange and purple print had me staring in envy)  whilst a medieval burgundy cross adorned a silver mini with a beautifully made matching cape. Dashing off to make his flight, Majtenyi kisses each model goodbye before making his excuses with us and offering us a business card. Amongst the crowds of bloggers, models, pr agencies and people who had a strange air of needless self importance, it was clear that I wasn't going to encounter a nicer and more engaging designer no matter how hard I tried.

However, as I look back at such a strong and vibrant Fashion Week, I can now look forward to my latest venture. Having been promoted to online media writer at Who's Jack magazine, I will be updating on a regular basis whilst also commencing as a full time intern at Fashion156.com. Wish me luck!

London Fashion Week 2011: "Dirty, Mucky Tramps" and Caroline Charles

London Fashion Week has arrived and is already off to an unusual start. From the women galavanting with stuffed birds carefully poised on the tops of their heads to the numerous brightly coloured dip dyes, it's a mixed crowd by any stretch of the imagination. And, this morning, as we stood outside Somerset House, the epicentre of fashion for the next few days, we were approached by a 72 year old woman muttering beneath her breath. What could this seemingly innocent well to do Grannie want with us? Well it’s funny you should ask as she wanted quite a lot as it happens. Giving us the once over with her curious eye, her gaze landed upon my wet look leggings much to her disgust:
“London Fashion Week? Is that what they’re calling fashion these days?”

Ah. I see where this is going. However, her tirade did not end with my faux leather bottom halves as she had a few pointers for all in attendance declaring every woman in the surrounding area a “dirty, mucky tramp”. From a elderly woman dressed head to toe in tweed, one would not normally expect such obscenities but this is fashion week after all and anything could happen.

“Topshop stinks! Primark Stinks!” she continued as we looked on in shock and amusement. High street favourites they may be but in her humble and modest opinion, these figureheads in budget fashion have left London is a state of disarray as we apparently drape ourselves in rags and garments more suited to a lady of the night.

As she began to settle and walk away, she made sure to leave us with her final word on those mingling in the courtyard:

“Women in London….the worst dressed in London”

Well, it wasn’t completely sensical but she had well and truly made her point. And with her mission completed, she went on her way to harrass a man about his unsatisfactory briefcase. However, after a shaky start  and some free pastries and compote, it was onto the shows starting with Caroline Charles.
After queueing in the baking sun for half an hour amongst some of the most eclectically dressed men and women I’d seen all day, it seemed unlikely that we were all waiting in line to see the same designer. After 47 years in the industry, Caroline Charles is no stranger to London Fashion Week but her collection of feminine prints and ladylike two pieces show that she’s no sucker for passing fads as she channels a look that wouldn’t have been out of place fifty years ago.

As one model follows another, each is clad in feline framed sunglasses adding an air of old style glamour to their otherwise prim and proper attire. Demure midi skirts and slim line shapes dominated the walk, accessorised with playful straw boaters to lift the outfits into Spring/Summer. The overall look is grown up sophistication whether it be the floaty summer dress in the blue and white print akin to a willow patterned china plate or an evening black lace maxi skirt accompanied by a cropped top with bead embellishment. However, it has to be said that the similarities between her SS12 and SS11 collection are uncanny but then again if it’s not broken then why fix it?

Until next time...
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